Having a random hookup so left but love u
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
