How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
