In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
