"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
