Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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