at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
accomplished twins. life is a go
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
