I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
