i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
