oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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