I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
