I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
