Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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