Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
