the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
