Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize