i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your cock deserves a montage
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
