Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
