I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
