y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
