No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I touched a dick in church today
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
