I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
