Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
