i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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