Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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