Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
