Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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