Whod you bang
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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