nut hugger
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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