State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
