I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
