How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
