Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize