woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
