bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
