I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
