How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
