I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
