Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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