All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize