You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
