Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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