Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
