A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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