this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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