And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
