i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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