But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
