come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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