Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
