my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
