so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
