Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
