i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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