Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
