There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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