i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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