I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
